big fat tyrannosaurus mess

morning time.

2009-02-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

i am a morning person. not an early morning person, but i tend to wake up around 8ish without the aid of an alarm clock. this is assuming that there has been no debauchery the previous evening, and now that i'm nearing my 30's my debauchery has been limited to cooking and crafting with a glass of wine before hitting the sheets at midnight (or ten-thirty). i go out (like out-out, to a show or out of town) maybe once a month. and now that i think about it, i feel a little depressed that i only do things like that twelve times a year. but not depressed enough to give up my cozy nights in with my boyfriend and kitty-love. i have truly fallen in love with age. with the exception of my body not bouncing back with it's usual youthful elasticity, i have found growing up to be a gift. bridget bardot said "it is sad to grow old, but nice to ripen." i have to agree.

back to all this morning person business, i am also currently unemployed, which i may have repeatedly mentioned. that means an excess of free time and a strong tendency towards going insane. i think the only thing that keeps my on the good side of the asylum walls is the fact that i have a few hours of quiet time in the mornings. my boyfriend sleeps until noon (or later if i would let him) so the mornings are all mine and zed's. this morning i ate cherries, worked on my valentines that will be finished by next saturday, discovered pandora.com (i may have mentioned that i'm slow to catch onto things sometimes), and nursed two bigs mugs of earl grey with soymilk. this is why i haven't flung myself off the roof of my house yet.

a few things that i have learned over the past week or so:

-do not make a 9x13 pan of lasagna when you only have two people in the house that eat it. i have eaten lasagna for breakfast more often that i care to think about.

-the beauty of yo-yo's. they reminded me of country crafts (ew) for so long, but i have a feeling i can make something lovely and modern(ish) with them.

-the flaw in looking for flaws in your own work. (oh, irony. you taunt me.) you truly are your own worst critic and it rarely gets you anywhere but scrambling through the bathroom cabinet, searching frantically for those last two xanax saved from some dental procedure 8 months ago specifically for an occasion such as this. sigh.

-you can tell the age of a whale by how many layers of ear wax it has. really, it's like the rings of a tree.

speaking of trees, i have fallen in love with these pillows. fabric woodiness? fabulous! if only i could crochet. and read some dearoldlove.com for a shot of vengeful or wistful nostalgia. just in time for valentine's day, right?

how the mighty have slackenered.

2009-02-01T16:37:00.000-08:00

it has been a week or more. my faithful boyfriend has asked me repeatedly if i have updated my blog (he is so good about keeping me on track). i have been slack and not in a mood to share and write. the other day he said that the keyboard and screen looked as though someone had eaten off of it. oh no, that is just my sneeze shrapnel. spit and snot from my morning allergies sprayed all over the electronics. not the most attractive thing in the world. but my dearest pamela is sending me a neti pot that will cleanse my passages and renew me like the golden calf. or whatever kind of newborn that gets renewed. buh, i took lots of benadryl today. and also! i learned the blanket stitch from future girl's lovely tutorial i created something that looked a little too gothic lolita for my taste, but at least i can use it for other craftiness. no pictures, please. it's a little embarrassing.

i've accomplished quite a bit over the past week however. making lasagna (the dear boyfriends request), getting over the neon nasal sinus infection, catching up on my season 5 top chef, and refreshing my facebook every five minutes. i've been busy.

and since today is letter writing sunday, i mailed a letter to my bff, scooter (though he prefers to be known as zack these days). he has been my big brother, my savior, my counselor, and my designated driver more often than i can remember. though there have been those few times when i have had to bail him out...it's a mutually beneficial relationship.

and also, a letter to my dear friend julie. the most intelligent and gung-ho lady i know. here's (a letter) to you!

and since i am on facebook way too often, i have received many of the "list twenty-five random things about yourself" requests. i already did one (on facebook) about a month ago, so i thought it might be nice to let you other peeps in on who i am. wrote a survey about it, like to hear it? here it go.

1- i have not had a "real" haircut in over six years. i was spending way too much on my hair and had an obscene breakup in which i decided to go diy in all aspects of cuttery. i get compliments all the time.

2- every time i hear my cute boyfriend cute talking my cute cat i smile so big it breaks my face. i'm glad he adopted my baby.

3- i am thoroughly obsessed with my cat. he is my life and my snuggs.

4- most mornings, my breakfast is fruit salad with yogurt. i mix grapes, strawberries, orange segments, raspberries, blueberries, and whatever other fruits i have in the house with vanilla yogurt and sunflower seeds. every time i eat, the first bite has to have one of everything in the spoon. it can be a very big mouthful sometimes.

5-i collect vintage robes and nightgowns. i don't get to wear them very often, but i like that "valley of the dolls" feeling i get when i wear them.

6- i don't have a real job. my boyfriend gave me the most flattering review of my constant unemployment when he told a friend that my profession was learning.

7- i cannot walk in heels. i love them, especially t-straps and mary janes. but i am a weeble wobble.

8- i do not capitalize. it is a waste of pinky time and also i think that it is an elitist movement, much like mister and miss. plus i just do not care for it.

9- i am the most unorganized person ever. but i have a lot of lists, so i fake it well.

10- i am left handed, though i have adapted to a right handed world. i only write sinisterly. everything else goes the way of people who are not serial killers.

11. my allergies are epic. and also an epic fail. note the previous mention of my mac screen looking like a snot board.

12- i loathe talking on the phone. i will not answer it at any point in my day.

13- this is awful, but i hate the youth of today. they just don't get it and they try too hard to get it. it is probably the same way the older cool kids perceived me when i was younger.

14- i don't mind people talking about me, positively or otherwise. at least i made a mark in somebody's book.

15- cooking is my favorite form of art. it is the creation that is meant to be destroyed.

16- i want to go to school for my masters in library and information science. i just have to decide where.

17- if i eat a steak it has to be bloody. like still mooing bloody. and i will never be a vegetarian, but i want my carcass to have had a good life before it enters my mouth.

18- i have not have coffee in over three months. earl grey with soymilk is where it's at.

19- i'm a big fat tyrannosaurus mess snob when it comes to interior decor. i thought about going into that field but i realized how much i would loath my clients if they disagreed with me.

20- i collect vintage typewriters, rotary telephones, bread boxes, and radios. they have to be pastel toned though.

21- though i deny it, i am a snobby elitist. i'm sorry.

22- i have tried to use a sewing machine five times, but fail every chance i get. hand sewing is the style for me.

23- i love being from the south. i know a lot of people are ashamed and believe that it a lower class area, but i believe that southern girls are feisty and independent and much stronger than people give them credit for.

24- back to number 2, really. i love my cat. i love my boyfriend. i think we have found our happy family.

25- fucking michael and janet. the jacksons. weren't their 80's and early 90's videos just the fucking best? really, i don't like nasty food either. she was a goddamned dance nazi. i would hate to have fucked up on her set. "off with the clumsy bitch's head and on with the show!" and check out the whoo! rhythm nation video if you want to (my friend donet dillon wore the one key earring every day of fifth grade.). and there is always this choreographed classic. and yeah, he's not endorsing the occult. ahem.

and isn't isabella blow so tragic and beautiful?

simon says suck it up.

2009-01-23T18:01:00.000-08:00

in times like these (times of destitution, of sinusitis, and of undesired weight gain) i try to find humor wherever i can. i may have mentioned that most of my reading material has consisted of books on food ethics and nutrition. they are informative, provocative, and challenging; but sometimes all i really want is to read something that would make me laugh at the trials of life and remind me things aren't always as serious as they initially seem. kind of like the literary version of teen wolf or romy and michelle's high school reunion. i picked up a copy of ant farm, by simon rich, a year or two ago and loved it. i was on the floor laughing at the soon-to-be-divorced man who comes up with the names for crayola hues. or the man who tries to impress a girl when he lists his three desert island items and then wakes up to realize he was hitting on a government researcher who puts him to the test. most of the stories are between one and four pages, so it is the sort of life intermission that won't deter you for too long. i passed ant farm along to a friend who needed it more than i did at the time, and he returned the favor by picking up rich's second collection, free-range chickens for me as a christmas gift. it's the same sort of dark humor; concise, relevant, and hysterical. i finished it the same day he gave it to me, even after a few too many lively pints at the bar (he lives in alaska and we rarely get to see eachother anymore). there are a few excerpts on the ever watchful mahschpace for your previewing pleasure, but i have a feeling that you will not be disappointed.

and my musical ear says that the new dungen album 4 is not nearly as good as ta det lugnt. more pansy, less psych. i'm not digging it. but on a bright note, goblin cock will be coming 'round next month! huzzah!

and also, today was my kitchen triumph day, yes. and triumph i did with my homemade enchilada sauce. and again, yes, i forgot to take pictures. but i will be posting the fabulous recipe soon! and keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow, i have a job interview. i even dyed my hair back to a normal color so i don't look so much like a gutter punk.

it's a beautiful things.

2009-01-20T12:25:00.000-08:00

i've been lax in my communications, apologies all around. a bit financially stressed and snotty. between that and this weather? yuck. i've been doing nothing but eating butterfingers and neglecting to brush my teeth. oh, but i am moving on up and out of these depths! i am planning on buying a neti pot soon and have a job interview coming up. huzzah! to make it up to myself and both of my faithful readers, i will post my rants and raves this week (a day late) on my scheduled day of rest. and where was my craft on tuesday? what did i make? i'll tell you: i made it through one more week without decapitating myself or anyone else and sometimes that's all you can hope for. so here we go, my foray into hate and happy:

this is old news, but there is a remake of ayn rand's (lengthy but mind blowing) novel atlas shrugged in the works. i may be in the minority when i say that reading ayn rand made me the person i am. people either love her or loathe her, but most people i have talked to cannot stand her. that isn't the point of this, though. what i really want to know is who the dumbfucks are that decided to cast angelina jolie in the role of dagny taggart. really? isn't it bad enough that every reporter that interviews her strokes angie's ego like it's the head of baby jesus? and yes, we all know that you're beautiful, brad is beautiful, babies of every color are beautiful, your family is better than all of us, and you give great bitchface. but do you, saint angelina, veiny armed goddess of orphaned children everywhere, have to accept a role in which the character you are playing is, for all intents and purposes, a selfish bitch? you may have the bitch persona down, but selfish people don't become UN ambassadors. ayn rand has just died another death. angelina says she is a fan, but i have to know if she has ever read any of rand's novels? a hedonist and an objectivist are not the same thing.

and i'm so excited about this future rant, so here is a little preview...why does a woman's (or man's, though much less often) body have to be used to sell something? is that all she (or he) is really worth? coming soon, it's going to be a biggie.

and just a few of my favorite things this week, most of all being my friggin' awesome star trek TNG action figures (pictured above) that my lovely beau spotted for me in the salvation army earlier today! they were mint, still in the box, but i had to take them out and accessorize them. yes, geordi looks like he's sporting a murse, but check those dilithium crystals! and i got a borg! two borg actually but michael grabbed one for his studio. and how huge was my crush on data? infinite, and still is. ahhh, middle school. and look at what else i found! way pricey but perhaps we can band together and find a suitable facsimile? also, these altered books, which i would use as bookends if i could make them. i have neither the patience nor stamina to maim books in such a way. i respect them far too much, but aren't they pretty? and also, these magical rainbow undies! i'm ordering mine when (and it's only a matter of time) i get this job. buy yours too, and we shall have a slumber party! ther are a few other things i saw on the interweb that made my heart all fluttery, but i'm going to try to make them myself. prepare yourself for a brand new episode of "triumph or learn from desiree's mistakes" on tuesday!

alcohol, broccoli, and the correspondence of one f. scott fitzgerald.

2009-01-18T15:45:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling a bit out of sorts today. it was probably the pitcher of amaretto sours that i (over)indulged in last night or perhaps the tequila shot i had (my first ever!). when i woke up this morning i was feeling great and was laughing in the face of a hangover threat. you will not defeat me, alcohol! fast forward about four hours and a cheeseburger later. my stummy is rolling, and i feel like the ice pick we used last night got lodged in my frontal lobe. but what fun i did have! air hockey and guitar hero and knitting and the company of some very lovely ladies. since this is my day of the week to reflect on correspondence, i decided to check out a collection of letters from a very talented alcoholic, f. scott fitzgerald. a life in letters consists of fitz's writings to editors, ernest hemmingway (another of my favorite bottle battlers), his daughter, and zelda. he was a much more productive drinker than i am. (i'm still in my jammies. it's 8pm.) and it's edited by a guy whose last name is bruccoli, which sounds a lot like one of my favorite vegetables. i'm sold.

also, i fail at guitar hero but rule at air hockey. yes.

the sad scone debacle of 2009: or how i learned to stop estimating and love the blob.

2009-01-16T18:21:00.001-08:00

yet another jobby job i had a very long time ago was as a barista at an evil barnes and noble starbucks. i cried hysterically on my way home every day for the month that i lasted there. serving soccer moms their half-caf double skinny extra foam sugar free caramel mach-cha-chito (AT 157 DEGREES) and high school girls whose speech consists of 70% giggles made my life a living hell. the only bright spot, the only thing that made this torture bearable, was the blueberry scones. delicious little flaky rounds of soft and not-too-sweet fruity perfection. starbucks has since changed their blueberry scone to some sort of hard and oatmealy thing that is a sad reminder of the impermanence of beauty. no longer sweet and light, it is something that looks like it would come out of my own oven, which i should have realized before i tried to actually make them in my own oven. i'm not going to hypothesize on where exactly i went wrong here, only assume that when the recipe says that the dough should resemble biscuit dough that they are not playing some sort of april fool's joke on you. you cannot always eyeball your cups and teaspoons. or perhaps i should have cut my fruit into pieces rather than having golf ball sized strawberries in there. but none of this explains why the whole damn thing had the consistency of a bready pancake and tasted like a fruit cobbler. maybe the pancake thing, but damn. aren't recipes, like rules, meant to be broken? sigh, the search continues for a bakery that holds the perfect scone.

so distraught by my baking disaster, i could only boil up some store bought gnocchi and toss in in some vodka sauce with chicken for lunch. i am not sure that i have ever had homemade gnocchi and am terrified of making my own, having heard so many defeated tales of an afternoon's worth of effort dissolving in a pot of water. but i think i'm going to try it anyway. this recipe and this one look forward and fool-proof, though that doesn't necessarily mean anything. if i get truly ambitious and brave i could try the sweet potato gnocchi over here. if anyone had any gnocchi advice (or anecdotes), send 'em on this-a way. stay tuned.

rants and raves, first edition.

2009-01-13T06:03:00.000-08:00

some people call me a professional bitcher. i don't really think i confine myself to bitching really, because i am just as vocal about the thing i adore. i just happen to be very, very vocal. and why the hell shouldn't i be, right? so maybe by getting my gripes out on a weekly and anonymous basis, i will save my friends some eye rolling.

something i've noticed lately is the absolute travesty that is considered fashion. there are hundreds, thousands even, of blogs dedicated to documenting what amounts to a 15 year old girl's overambitious daily outfits. i wanted to put a few links in, but hated to call anyone specific out. some people don't understand that wearing one trend (as long as it isn't incredibly ugly in the first place- put down the neon animal prints! put down the uggs and the jeans that double as leggings! ) can make you look chic and polished, while wearing all of them at once just looks a little sad. kind of like you got lost on the road to making your own fashion choices and threw your hands in the air as a decision to not decide. and really, are drop crotch pants flattering on anybody? is it now a goal to look like a diaper-wearing penguin? i'll stick with my straight leg jeans and chucks, thanks.

oh, there are so many reasons i am glad that we are saying goodbye to george bush. however, some of his idiocy will remain. such as his midnight hhs rule that allows healthcare providers to not only deny access to information and services, but will also let them redefine abortion to include several common methods of birth control. really. this means that a doctor or nurse who does not agree with a woman's right to use birth control can refuse to prescribe it or give her a list of doctors who will provide it. i'm not going to get on a pedestal about any of this, but if you want more information or an opportunity to get involved, visit the planned parenthood website.

also, i loathe driving. and i hate cars.

but on to better and shinier things. i adore the above picture. it, and others like it, can be found at the lovely fotos de almanaque. lately i have been wanting to learn to crochet or knit or sew (all three are beyond me), and it is all because of these dolls and this little guy. they have warmed my heart lately. and beadboard ceilings! actually, i love beadboard on everything! and for when you are feeling bored and hungry but indecisive, there is the noodle oracle. i've already tried a few of these ideas and love them, now if they could just develop a rice oracle...

scrap and button flora. no fauna.

2009-01-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

eons and eons ago, i worked in a furniture store. not a stuffy, everything-comes-in-dark-cherry-and-chintz furniture store, but not anything too modern either. let's say it was a furniture store for young, hip families who wanted to push tradition's boundaries and still wanted something comfy for mom to sit in when she came to visit. but that's not the point. the point is, it closed and i ended up with shit tons of fabric swatches. not really enough of any one piece to do anything grand with, but they were big enough to make some fun little accessories or patches (we were supposed to ship them back to the company, but i did what any rebellious crafter worth her fiskars would do and stole all of them). by now most of them have big chunks cut out, but i still have tons of scraps left so i decided to make a "flower" pin for my little grandma cardigan that i picked up the other day. it's pretty self explanatory. cut out some gradually sized circles of coordinating (or clashing, if you prefer) fabrics, layer them, and sew a button in the middle. i hand stitched around the edges for a little embellishment and to stop any hardcore fraying. i don't have any felt at the moment, but i'm just going to sew a pin backing to a piece of felt the same shape as the back circle and fabri-tac it to the back. it's about the size of my palm, and i'm pretty damn pleased with the cool, elderly lady effect.

ah. and now i'm off to break into a pet store, liberate some canaries.

it's good for you.

2009-01-10T08:27:00.001-08:00

i'm going to refrain from getting too schmaltzy and mushy here, but this is a bit of a personal blog which just means you get to know that i am more that an amazing cook who is handy with a pot of glue (ahem). i made a lot of new year's resolutions, keeping up with this blog is among them. so is learning spanish, paying off specific bills (you know who you are and i'm coming for you!), and writing a letter to a friend every sunday. also, perhaps the most difficult, is to try to rebuild my relationship with my mother. you may think that the reason that i haven't spoken to her in over 6 months is because one or both of us are horrible people. not true. my mother is ideal and has always been there if i needed anything. our problem lies in an eternal personality conflict. put us in a room together and there is instant friction and usually we end up ignoring eachother in an awkward silence. so, when i got pushed into a pool over the summer and my phone was destroyed, i simply got a new one and never gave my mother the number. i am a horrible daughter. fast forward through six months of guilt and intense internal and matriarchal conflict. i knew i should get in touch, but with every month it just seemed harder and i kept putting it off until tomorrow. you know how that goes. but the moral of the story is: don't put it off. so i sent my mother an email (yes, a coward's way out) apologizing and letting her know that i hoped we could see eachother soon. i realized how much i missed her when i got her reply and immediately cried and snotted all over my boyfriends shirt. she said i was always going to be her favorite daughter (nevermind that i'm the only one) and that she loved me. so i'm going to work very hard on having the kind of relationship with her that she deserves and learn to let our (many) differences complement eachother rather than do damage. and the second moral of the story is this: make an apology you've been putting off, or forgive something you need to let go of. even if nothing comes of it, i promise you will feel better. enough sap for one day, who needs a drink?

the beautiful demon that is coconut milk.

2009-01-09T15:03:00.000-08:00

ahhh, thai food. what a glorious cuisine. everything is so rich and brilliantly colored and flavored. and did i say richie rich milky coconutty richness saturated fatdom? because yes, that's what it is. 48 grams of fat per cup? and practically 90% of that is saturated? damn. don't get me wrong, i'm not big on going without edible luxuries. i love decadent full fat cheeses, real chocolate, and good wine when i can get them. but this is something i absolutely cannot justify, so i set out to find or create a substitute. and it worked! phenomenally!

i wanted to make a variation of the yummy tom ka soup, but thicker and more like a meal over rice. because i am a little nervous about too many experiments at once i went to the asian grocery and picked up a packet of tom ka paste (a complete bargain at 89 cents!). i know it's got some additives and way more sodium that i would prefer to be in there, but i'll try to make it homemade another day. this is the time for fat attack! i figured that some coconut flavored milk should do just as well as the real thing. and coconut flavored vanilla soymilk would be even better. so i whipped up a little batch, threw in some veggies and poured it over brown rice. so good that there are no pictures of it because we ate all of it. quickly. vague instructions below!

stuff:
1 can coconut water
1 cup(ish) vanilla soymilk (regular if you want, but i like the additional sweetness it gave)
2 tsp corn starch
1 packet tom ka paste (to serve 4)
a hoopla of veggies, tofu, or meat (i used cauliflower, edamame, tofu, red pepper, spinach, and carrots)
brown short grain rice to serve 4

do:
-pour about 1/2 of the can of coconut water and 1/2 of the soymilk in a pot with the paste and bring to a very low boil, just enough to melt the paste.
-add the tofu or (pre-cooked) meat and simmer for about 5-8 minutes. make sure you stir every now and then, soymilk can get that filmy thing on top.
-mix your cornstarch in with the rest of the soymilk and some of the coconut water (i still had a little coconut water leftover after i was done cooking) and add to the pot.
-throw in all your veggies and simmer until they are at the tenderness you like. i like mine pretty friggin' crunchy, so i left it on only for about 7 minutes.
-pour it over some cooked rice and it's a super delicious, way reduced-fat version of one of my favorite thai foods ever.

the only thing to keep and eye on and use your discretion in is the desired thickness. mine was still a little soupy, but the rice soaked most of it up by the end of my bowl. throw in some more milk or coconut water if you want a soup or use less if you like something thicker. good luck and clear arteries to you!

french but not elitist, miami but not bass.

2009-01-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

i found the contrarily (new word) named san francisco trio french miami on a recent blog search. i have been running out of pleasing ear love, and living with two musicians doesn't help as much as you think it would. french miami has been around since 2006, but i can be a little slow on the pick up. they don't have a bassist but the drums are kicky enough that you don't even notice. add some synths and a dreamy, drone-y (but far from boring) vocal sound and i get taken back to the day when dance music didn't sound like i needed a glow stick arsenal, shoegaze and punk could be thrown in a blender, math rock was just for nerds, and the nerds were the cool kids. if you know what i mean, and i think you do. check out their mythpathe and hear it for yourself. science fiction is a good track, and getting lots of bloggin' between the sheets. i'm keeping an eye on tour dates as well and will keep updates going for you locals. i hope you enjoy dancing in your room as much as i do.

and as far as literary activities go, i'm reading a lot of books on food ethics. they are taking me some time to get through. but on a lighter scene, i recently finished all about lulu by jonathan evison. the story of a rejected bodybuilder's son, his two brothers, and the stepsister he falls in love with. it is heart wrenching and miraculous in a big newsprint jellyroll.

jenkies. it's a jewelry thingy.

2009-01-05T16:38:00.000-08:00

only lately have i become a fan of cheese (whereas the maiden fan in me has been alive for quite some time). mostly soft, mold covered ones like brie and camembert...and i know you can't get the real thing here, but these impostors just whet my taste for the creamy softness that i read about on the cheese blog that i adore so much. one of my favorite things about these cheeses is the cute packaging. i'm a sucker for neat things that hold other things. mostly because i have a lot of stuff and containers make me feel organized. sadly, my cheese boxes have begun to pile up in a not-so-attractive heap in the kitchen because i refuse to throw them away. solution: upcycle. i made a few of these little bejeweled (be-buttoned, really) little treasure chests, and i really like them on the dresser; in the bathroom; or wherever you may have spare change, bobby pins, or perfume samples that you pilfered from macy's. the buttons add a nice weight to it, so it doesn't feel as flimsy, and it's super easy!

needage:
a strip of fabric long enough to wrap around your lid, cut to the proper width
buttons of any variety
spray paint
mod podge
e6000

doage:
-i spray painted the lid of my cheese box, so any color showing through the spaces between the buttons would be uniform.
-use a brush (or your finger, which is what i always end up doing) to apply mod podge to the outside rim of the container, brush some more on the back of fabric and wrap it around, making sure you press firmly all the way around and let dry.
-grab your trusty e6000 and glue buttons all over the top. i started with the bigger ones as a base and did two layers to cover some of the bigger spaces between the base buttons. i tried doing a mosaic picture with my first one, but it didn't look as good as i had hoped, and i like the randomness of the colors better anyway.

so easy and cute. i think everyone may get one of these for their birthdays this year, assuming i eat enough cheese. who are we kidding, though? everyone's gonna get two of these!

stamps full sail

2009-01-04T17:02:00.000-08:00

stamps often look very generic, and i find that sad. i have only waited in line at the post office a few times to buy the limited first class stamps (once was for the bucky fuller one!), i just rarely see any that i like. i checked the usps stamp page and did not find many that i was enamored with, though the bette davis one is quite thrilling. here is a quick pictorial of stamps that i think are much more exciting!

faux-shionista for an hour.

2009-01-03T11:22:00.000-08:00

yes, this is a survey. but i love it because if you use your imagination, you can pretend that you are being interviewed for an awesome fashion blog or magazine. i highly recommend it.

1. What is fashion/style to you?
it's a wearable expression of who you are. style is something that never dies and never goes away, otherwise it's just a trend.

2. Describe your style.
haha. tomboy chic? i'm a big fan of jeans and chucks, usually paired with a tshirt or loud polyester shirt and a corduroy blazer or vintage cardigan/grandma sweater. it's kind of a mix between a 5 year old boy, a 50 year old professor, and an 80 year old lady.

3. Your favorite look/fashion style/genre.
i love women's fashion from the 40's through the 60's. everything was so structured but still really feminine. i also like the garage band style in the 60's and 70's. tight jeans and tshirts with sneakers or ankle/beatle boots, very laid back and casual.

4. Fashion style/look that you are into lately.
eh. i haven't seen too much that i like lately, but i haven't been keeping up very well. on a lot of the street fashion blogs i look at it seems that everyone is going out of their way to wear the most ridiculous clothes and look like they got dressed in the dark.

5. Your favorite fashion item.
a really great vintage cardigan in a bright color, my favorite right now are yellow and mint green. ooh, and my new spectacles!

6. What plays the most important role when you’re choosing your outfit?
the distance from the bed to the item and if it's clean enough for another day.

7. Least favorite look/style/fashion item.
too much neon, wearing an outfit straight off a mannequin or advertisement. clothes that are way too tight or too big.

8. Does your style change often?
not really. i'm willing to throw a new idea into my regular outfits every now and then, but i usually go back to my staples.

9. A girl’s wardrobe essentials?
jeans that fit, a pair of chucks, a pair of peep toe heels, and a great blazer.

10. Your fashion motto:
don't try too hard.

11. Your fashion role model/icon.
i love katherine hepburn. she wore what she wanted and everyone else be damned.

12. Your favorite brands?
i'm a thrift store junkie, so i end up getting whatever fits and looks good.

13. What do you do when you see somebody wearing the exact same outfit that you are wearing?
i've never had that happen. i guess i would laugh and go out to my car where there is usually a second wardrobe in waiting.

14. Do you like to follow the trends often?
not unless i like the trend, which is rare. i did recently buy a pair of leggings though.

15. Your fashion secrets/tips:
wear what's comfortable and what fits; don't wear too many trends at once; and if all else fails, grab a glass of wine and stand up straight, it's instant polish.

16. Your favorite fashion model?
i couldn't name one even with a gun to my head.

17. Favorite fashion mag?
i don't read magazines, but a few blogs i've liked of late are this-a one and this-a one

18. Do you like to give fashion advice to other people?
just the boyfriend.

19. The best look on opposite gender?
i like the old british preppy look. or a striped tshirt and jeans. yow.

20. What is the most dominant colour in your closet/wardrobe?
denim? i have a lot of jeans.

21. Favorite fabric/texture of clothes?
corduroy or sweater knit. (i just wish i could learn to do it myself.)

22. Favorite clothing details?
i like nice buttons or contrast stitching.

23. Favorite print?
paisley or stripes. a loud floral or geometric print on a polyester button up will always have a dear place in my heart.

24. Your favorite no-fail clothing items?
straight leg dark wash jeans, sneakers, and a plaid western shirt.

25. What do you “collect”?
vintage robes and nightgowns. the flowy, sheer, satiny, movie star kind. they make me feel like an extra in valley of the dolls.

26. How do you take care of your clothes?
if i can't throw it in the washing machine, i don't buy it.

27. Favorite shopping spots/places?
good smelling thrift stores, with the occasional smelly one thrown in.

28. What is the oldest item in your closet?
i know i have some items that are from the 60's. they still had receipts in the pocket!

vegan almond butter cookays!

2009-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

i love to cook. it's probably one of my top five things to do on a day off. and i rarely make a complete blunder (though it does happen occasionally). this is not so with baking. i waffle with measurements and substitute when i probably should not. there was once a loaf of 9 grain bread that was going to be yummy and healthy, until i lifted it from the oven and felt its immense weight. i thought the brick analogy in poor baking was a joke. i assure you it is a real phenomenon. but i am as stubborn as i am contrary, so i tried again. this time with a delicious sounding cookie recipe from a lovely vegan blog i found. like her, i have an abundance of almond butter that, despite my smearing granny smith slices with it almost daily, i will never be able to use. throw in my distaste for eggs and butter, and i pretty much have to rely on vegan baking blogs. my version only had a few minor tweaks to it; i used a 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour and a 1/2 cup of white flour, added a bit of allspice, and i omitted the almond extract because i'm lazy and didn't want to go to the store in the rain (next time i won't though). buh.

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tbs sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp allspice
1/3 cup almond butter
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp almond extract
3 tbs canola oil (i also used olive oil, not ideal for baking, but whatever.)

-preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease your cookie sheet.
-combine dry ingredients in one bowl.
-in a separate bowl, combine the almond butter with the maple syrup and extract(s). stir in the oil.
-add the dry mix to the wet mix until well combined (i also added a little more flour because it seemed a bit liquidy to me, just a few tablespoons).
-place tablespoon-fuls of dough on cookie sheets and bake for 7-8 minutes or until deliciously golden looking.

the cookies smelled awesome and were really moist despite the lack of dairy. they don't look quite as smooth as the cookies in the original blog, but i blame the whole goodness of the wheat flour. my roomies said they tasted a bit like oatmeal cookies, and i agree. not quite what i was wanting. i will definitely make these again, but probably use 1/4 cup honey and 1/4 cup maple syrup. or maybe a bit of vanilla soymilk. i think what i'm saying it i found them a bit too maple-y, but otherwise they had the perfect texture and really made the house smell wonderful on this wet and nasty day. do it, tweak it, perfect it, and enjoy.

bebe new year!

2008-12-31T16:25:00.000-08:00

i haven't posted for the past coupla days, but it's not because i'm lazy! oh no, i've been busy(ish) getting ready for my new years eve! making shots for a hundred people, looking in three counties for a vintage, small, white button up oxford (the bf is obsessive and a perfectionist), and trying not to dwell on the fact that i spent the last 365 not doing what i should have been doing. sigh. however, we grow not older with years, but newer ever day. with this in mind i will leave you with my best and warmest wishes for a fun and safe new year; and give you the hopes that this year will be your favorite year yet. going up! xoxo

i cannot knit, but i can fake it.

2008-12-29T18:50:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago i found a super cozy and adorable sweater at the thrift store nearest my house. it was in the children's section and the sleeves were a bit short, but i decided to spend money i didn't have and get it anyway. i chopped the sleeves off and made a cute sweater vest, but i was left with two sleeves of fabulous sweater that i could do nothing with. until...i saw all of the neck warmers on etsy and decided to upcycle my dismembered sweater into something a little more useful that a cat pillow, which is what zed had been using it for. i cannot sew, or knit, or do much in the way of fabricy or yarny things, so when i say this was super easy, i mean it. i hand stitched it all, and it only took about an hour or so. it's a little snug (though not uncomfortable), but i have a fat neck. (plump? rubenesque?) perhaps if i get the urge to hack away at an adult's sweater the result would be a little roomier.

first, i cut the upper arm part into a straight line (as in the first picture), then flipped the edge in just a little bit and sewed it shut, with just a little bit of a cinch so it wouldn't be huge compared to the cuff. then i grabbed two buttons and sewed them to the edge of the shoulder. cut two holes in the cuff (i did this lengthwise along the ribs) where your buttons will go and do a quick stitch around them. i would show pictures of this, but my needlework really is embarrassing. if you do want to see some pictures i can easily take some more though! and that's it, easy as pie. a warm neck wrap and a smart little sweater vest to match. i'm now ready for winter, though it seems that winter may just skip over the south this year. i was driving around with my windows down today and enjoying every weird moment of it.

beam me up, snotty.

2008-12-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

i have quite the allergy problem. at the worst points of the year my sleeves will be covered in snot and i will have some, if not all, of the following on my person: mucinex, benadryl, zycam nasal swabs, eye drops, my flonase spray, and another inhaler of sorts. beside the bed there is usually a large bottle of water and box of kleenex with an ugly design on it. that was, until i found these gems at the thrift store! for 25 cents! ugly! kleenex! box! covers! i am beside myself.

the kinks wrote a song about allergies called "hay fever". it's not very good, so i don't recommend listening to it, but the lyrics work. it's off the album misfits (1978) if you're interested though. enjoy.

Sitting by my stereo all alone
My baby calls me on the telephone
She says, Baby take me out for a dance
I tell my baby I feel so bad
I can't go out and it's making me sad
But when you see me, I know you will understand

I got hay fever, blocking up my head
Hay fever, I ought to be in bed
How can I dance when I can hardly breathe
Wish I could cure this infernal allergy
I got, hay fever blocking up my brain
Hay fever, feel the sinus pains
And all the pills and the powders are in vain
Thought I was cured but here it comes again
It goes ooh-ah

The pollen count's getting higher and higher
My eyes are sore and my nose is on fire
My throat's dry now and I'm starting to perspire
My stuffed up head's killing all of my desire
I got hay fever, you wicked allergy,
Hay fever, you put the curse on me
and I've inhaled every know remedy

I can't stay cool 'cos I'm starting to sneeze
I can't make love when I can't hardly breathe
We start to dance and my nose starts to bleed
There must be a cure for this hay fever
Is there a pill or a powder I can take
I must get a cure, for my romance is at stake

Hey fever, you tore my image down
Hey fever, I must look like a clown
I must have used every tissue in town
I'm running round sniffin' like a hound
It goes ooh-ah

I wanna kiss but I'm sneezin' instead
I can't make love when my head feels like lead
How can I pose when my nose is all red
We should be home, should be tucked up in bed
But I got hay fever
Hay Fever

the not-so-swedish chef's not-so-borscht.

2008-12-26T12:46:00.000-08:00

i have recently discovered the beauty of beets, thanks to one of my favorite food blogs, www.noteatingnoutinny.com. they are vitamin and fiber packed and stain your hands (and anything else porous) the most brilliant shade of magenta. i've taken to roasting them, but when i saw the pre-chopped parsnips at the grocery store the other day i instantly began craving a Pretty Hot And Tempting bowl of borscht. which in turn always flips the swedish chef switch in my head and i want to sing jovial mock swedish nonsense as loud as the boys in the house will let me, but change the ending to borscht! borscht! borscht! moving on...

i ran into a few roadblocks along the way but since i don't really use recipes improvisation isn't really a problem. when i went back to the store they had thrown away all the parsnips (!), their excuse being that since they were closed for christmas they had gone bad. i was tempted to ask if they could go back and fish the plastic tub out of the garbage and just give them to me, as i was going to use them within the hour, but i refrained from looking like the desperate parsnip lady. i spied the rutabagas on sale for 99 cents and decided a substitution could be made. i grabbed a baking potato and some carrots and was out the door, remembering halfway home that i had forgotten to buy dill. despite my love of lists, i rarely make them and often forget what i'm doing, where i'm going, and what i need.

at home, my roommate is still asleep as i begin to quietly chop, bang, and mash my way to purple nirvana. as i said, i don't use recipes, so all of these measurements are estimated, but i think all food should be made to suit the people eating it. if you don't like cabbage, leave it out. lots of borscht recipes call for diced tomatoes or tomato paste, but i skipped it. my favorite part of being in the kitchen is not having to listen to anyone tell me what to do, i'm a bit anti-authority. but in case you like a little direction, here is a vague description of what happened in my teeny kitchen between 8 and 11 this morning.

whatchoo need: (this makes enough for around 4 generous servings.)
2 medium beets, scrubbed and the greens chopped. (save the greens!)
1 baking potato, cubed.
2 large carrots, chopped.
rutabaga, peeled and cubed. (i matched the amount of potato i had.)
chicken stock, homemade if you have it. (veggie stock would work just as well).
allspice.
3 cloves garlic, finely diced.
yellow onion, diced. (i used about 2 slices.)
1 cup red cabbage, chopped or diced.
beet greens, stemmed and chopped.
olive oil.
sour cream.
DILL! it makes a difference, i promise.

whatchoo do:
-wrap the beets in tin foil and toss in the oven at about 350 for an hour or until soft.
-after you take the beets out of the oven, ope up the tin foil and let them cool while you boil/saute the potato, carrots, and 'baga in about a cup of chicken stock until they are soft enough to mash. (i like my borscht chunky, but if you prefer the smooth kind then you can skip the mashing and just toss them in a blender.)
-once the beets have cooled a bit, the peel should be easy to rub off. chop the top and bottom off, dice them up and toss them into the pot with the other veggies. then mash, mash, mash! (or blend! blend! blend!) until it resembles cranberry sauce, or perhaps the manic panic color "deadly nightshade"; silly, yet accurate.
-in a saucepan, saute the onions, and garlic until they are translucent. if you want to save dishes then you can skip the sauteeing and just throw them in the pot, but i think the flavor is much better when you make them sweat a bit (much like a first date).
-add the onions, garlic, cabbage, beet greens, and enough chicken stock to get the consistency you prefer. the allspice is up to you, i used just a pinch and wouldn't really recommend much more. i added tons of black pepper, because i like it that way.
-let it sit on medium-low, covered, for about 45 minutes,or whichever temp keeps it at a slow boil or simmer.
-serve with a little sour cream dill and you're done. bork bork bork.

the men in the house tend to live off of indian food and cheeseburgers, and shun anything from the ground unless it's covered in curry. as i was having my sample bowl of borscht before i put it in the fridge for dinner (and lunch and another possible dinner tomorrow), my boyfriend stepped out of bed in his robe and described it as looking like "what they used for guts in zombie movies before they got the color right". so if it looks like technicolor innards and tastes like heaven, you've done well.

perpetuation.

2008-12-25T17:23:00.000-08:00

unlike cat hair, i have a problem sticking to things. i blame attention deficit disorder. my boyfriend sweetly described it as an addiction to learning all i can from something and moving on. though that does not explain why this is the third (perhaps fourth) time i have started and abandoned this blogging endeavor. one of my many new year's resolutions is to finally keep up with my tyrannosaurus mess. usually i like making things difficult for myself (i may have just discovered why i have trouble being faithful to my hobbies). this year, i thought it may help to have a way to make things a bit easier on myself. i love schedules, lists, and the idea of being organized, so i decided to have a weekly schedule to help my writing along. mondays are for craft entries, tuesdays will be reserved for rants and raves, thursdays will hold lovely musing on current or ancient literature and music. fridays are for kitchen triumphs and disasters; and saturdays are a wild card, which means i get to assail your eyes with whatever i want, or you may get a break if i had too much wine the night before. sundays will relate to one of my other resolutions, which is to write a letter to someone every week. it could be a story about the person i'm writing the letter to, or a history of the stamp, or a copy of a note someone wrote me in 6th grade (yes, i still have some of them). i'm hoping that this will push me to be more mindful of how i spend my time, and less likely to abruptly end this project. wish me luck, help me out, disagree, roll your eyes and hi-five me. in 6 days my world is yours. (the above painting is by gabe lanza, a talented and very sweet chicago artist.)